If you use apps and services within the Google ecosystem, you know they’re flakier than that delicious croissant you had from that small French bakery you pass by every morning but usually opt against due to the increasingly fraying seams on your favorite JNCOs. (If you’re fraying seams on JNCOs you need a complete lifestyle change for more reasons than I can count). Google would introduce a new service or app, then after a few short years tear it out from under you leaving you with feelings of abandonment and low-self esteem. Does dad still love you? If Google is your dad — then no, dad does not love you. People (nerds) are still sore about the untimely
death discontinuance of Google Reader (sorry for bringing it up). Or if we’re talking about Google Voice, you’ll receive an update for the app once every 2 years or so, just about the frequency your estranged father would stop by to visit you, mainly just to borrow some money that he promises he’ll pay back but never does. Occasionally he’ll bring a birthday cake and you feel happy again — like when they finally supported MMS on Google Voice. Only took till my 28th birthday. Forgive and forget, right?
Well, Our Father, who art in Mountain View, has decided to grace us with another gift — Android Messages. The app has been around for a while but it now has the functionality of a web interface, enabling texting from your desktop browser. On the surface, this is a godsend. Just below the surface, it’s dad asking you to lend him some cash. This time, I don’t think it’s dad’s fault though. See, dad got involved with the wrong people. He owes them money and if he doesn’t pay, they’re going to knock his teeth out. You don’t want that to happen, right? Dad may be a scoundrel but he’s got nice pearly whites. We’d hate to see them go.